Leads: Julia Louis-Dreyfous & Tobias Menzies
Director: Nicole Holofcener
Year of Release: 2023
In an ever-increasing space where blockbuster movies hug all of the media buzz and the half-baked ones, all of the recommendation section on your favorite streaming app, You Hurt My Feelings has come as a breath of fresh air.
As an avid fan of Veep and to a lesser extent Seinfeld, the moment I saw that this was released I committed to carving out some time to see it on the weekend. I wouldn’t claim to have had any serious expectations from the movie - with the recent quality being produced by Hollywood, one could claim my expectations were non-existent.
However, what ensured for the next 93 minutes was a clear-eyed telling of a largely believable story around a post-middle-age couple who has one-half’s trust and confidence in the relationship broken as a result of unwittingly coming into information she considers damning. When one considers the issue that tends to assail couples at this stage, or any stage really, it tends to be infidelity. Turning the light on a seemingly irrational but realistic issue was a refreshing discussion on relationships. Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship would confirm there isn’t a formula to the issues that come up
Tobias’s character is involved with some personal reckoning regarding his work and comes out of it wiser. This is a movie that has something for every character. We experience in quick but meaningful scenes how the characters deal with significant changes in their life. Their growth and resiliency given the amazing support system provided to the characters shines a light on the role of family and friends in a society that’s ever tilting towards individualism.
Watching Julia’s character have the occasional lunch with her mother and sister was a scene I found especially profound. The respect and importance shown to a senior citizen when in society we tend to walk around this.
Budgetary constraints or whatnot could be the reason but this was one movie where not a single scene was wasteful. A lesson could be taken from every interaction and You Hurt My Feelings is filled with gems. I suspect you might have noticed I have a but coming on, well, the but in this case is, in the end, everything seems to work out for everyone. That again is a deviation from what tends to happen in real life, things don’t always work out.
The biggest miss for me however were the concluding scenes where the protagonist had the opportunity to complete her growth arch but didn’t have the bravery to. This can be placed down to either a shortcoming in the writing/character arch or a realism in portraying that most times when confronted with issues we hold a removed standpoint for, we end up reverting to mean.
Overall a good watch and if forced to attach a number to it, a solid 7/10
